Last Friday my grandmother passed away. I packed up my suitcase, my car, and even my cat Spencer's carrier, prepared to make the trek to Ohio. But, Saturday evening I came down with a pretty awful case of the flu. After very little sleep and muscles that ached, I soon realized that a trip to Ohio was not in the cards. So, after getting over the illness, I finally had the energy, and time, to unpack my suitcase last night.
I must admit, it was an odd experience. Normally when you unpack from a trip, the items you remove have some sort of new memory attached to them. Maybe you look at the sweater you were wearing when you went to dinner with the family. Maybe your mom snuck some goodies into your bag and as you pull them out you are reminded of her kindness. Or, maybe you simply unpack the dirty laundry and are jolted back to life in the real world. No matter the item, it is undeniable that our suitcases are packed with memories when we return from trips.
But a trip I never took...that was a different story. Because, you see, as I unpacked my suitcase, I was struck with the realization that this is what worry oftentimes looks like. Worry can be compared to us "packing our things" for a trip that will never happen. Worry causes us to pack our lives full of fear, of anxiety, of all of the "What If's" that life has to offer. But, by God's goodness, so often we never have to take those things down the road. We find ourselves "unpacking" the worry, because it never had to be realized. We never had to go to the dark place towards which we expected to travel.
So what does any of this mean? Well, I have a new plan for tackling worry. Every time I sense myself beginning to worry, about the future, about the economy, about health, about my career, about anything, I am going to picture that suitcase...the one that sits in the corner, full of worry, yet never has to leave the house. And, my hope is that as I grow in the realization that God, not my worry, is in control, I will be able to stop packing that suitcase, and simply start enjoying the journey.
